The Past

I haven't wanted to admit it even to myself until now, but the romantic blogging era of LifeT!lt is over. Everything here will be completely transformed this year, and I'm putting all of this on a completely new foundation, but before that, I have a bit of work to do, because I can't build a future without closing off the past. This post is about the past, about the mistakes I've made along the way, about closing an era that I loved, that was me, and that can no longer be written about the way it used to be.

I always thought that Tilt was just a blog, only mine, and no one could take it from me; I wouldn't share it with anyone, I could keep everything in one hand, everyone else was a talentless screw-up who wasn't half as capable as me. But in the meantime, I had to realize that Tilt had long outgrown me, and I alone couldn't keep up with it. Building anything beyond a certain level demands such energy and intellectual ammunition that a person has to decide whether to crash into an abyss under the weight of responsibilities, or assess their limits, admit that they can't do it alone anymore, and that the burdens must be shared with others, otherwise, there's no way forward; the tasks will fragment them, and the song will end.

In the meantime, many people wanted to latch onto Tilt one way or another because they saw its potential. Many new faces, many dishonest and self-interested smiles, everyone wanted something from me. Just a diet tip, just a little help, would I mind checking their workout plan, did I have time for a meeting, but really just for half an hour, and what was worst, everyone came to me with an illusion, a picture formed in their heads while reading the blog. It's like when we read a book, and a picture forms in our heads, but that picture only exists in our heads, and I never wanted to live up to this illusion, because that's not me, even though I knew exactly what they wanted to see, and what I should show them. benedekbence is a non-existent person, one you can fall in love with, but identifying me, Tamás Balogh, with him would be as big a mistake as longing for a life we see in movies. Women are capable of believing illusions and searching for the perfect man their whole lives because they've seen it in movies and fairy tales, which is why they gobble up these romantic pieces of crap, but men aren't any better, seeing James Bond in everyone they feel is even slightly more badass than themselves, which, let's face it, isn't that hard these days.

I am also just an illusion in the minds of thousands of women. An imagined character, a first date where everything is wonderful and damn picturesque, with whom they fell in love online, but every first date, in a good case, is followed by a third, fourth, fifth, where months pass, and the scenery increasingly crumbles, because we are human. With weaknesses, character flaws, problems, emotions, troubles, and desperately difficult periods, because life tests us all and wears us down. My life is in a different place than when I started writing this blog; my priorities are different now than they were then; I am no longer building my body but my life, my future, a business from which not only I but also you will profit in the long run.

During the 22 months of Tilt, but especially in the last year, I gained many "friends." Quite a few people revolved around Tilt during this period, while I started living at such a pace that weeks passed without me having 10 minutes to think about what was happening around me. Who can I trust, who just wants to jump on board a rising business with zero added value, a business that I built over months with so many difficulties and a lot of work. Now, of course, some might think I'm exaggerating and blowing things out of proportion, but that's not the case at all, and I realized something was seriously wrong when even people belonging to Tilt's inner circle had to specifically schedule appointments with me just to have at least half an hour to discuss important matters affecting Tilt's future.

And I just went with the flow. I went from one meeting to the next. I started at 7 AM. At 10:30 AM, I had a meeting on Budafoki Road, but by 12:30 PM, I had to be in Pasaret for a radio recording, and then the programs, filmings, meetings with journalists kept coming, and this went on every single day for months, from 7 AM to 11 PM, while I was in contact with people close to Tilt, each of whom got barely 10 minutes net, and even that had to be in concise sentences if possible, because I had to move on. And I haven't even mentioned the execution of programs advertised on Tilt, and besides all this, I also had to write posts, all while constantly saying something new and continuing to provide the kind of energy boost and renewal that was expected of me.

At this point, the ground slipped from under me. I lost control, and I didn't know it then, but I was starting to burn out completely. I was constantly late, practically crashing into meetings, and I was no longer able to catch up with myself. Due to the enormous amount of energy invested, this period was the most successful in Tilt's history, but also the darkest, because I hurt people and trampled over people who didn't deserve it, but I was unable to pay attention to them or care about their feelings, because by then I was just playing for survival.

This lifestyle demanded incredible energy, which I couldn't have maintained alone in the long run, but the people around me supported me, and without their help, Tilt wouldn't be where it is now. Specifically, 8,000 likes in 5 months, if I wanted to express it in numbers. I didn't appreciate these people enough, I didn't pay attention to them the way they would have expected me to, quite rightly so, but in that hectic period, I simply had no strength or energy for them, and especially not for dealing with their problems, because by the time I finished my daily tasks and it was their turn at 11 PM, I would collapse at home like a zombie from exhaustion, and by then I didn't give a damn about anyone's problems.

These people are gone from my side now, people to whom I owe a great deal, and to whom I no longer have the opportunity to tell this in person.

Tilt is constantly evolving and requires continuous energy investment. There are ongoing works and processes in the background that demand so much effort that you have no idea about, and especially not what it means to lay the foundations of a business, because let's face it, Tilt is no longer just a blog, a personal diary of one person, but much more than that, and even if I didn't want to realize it myself, life led me to it.

Nothing is simple in Hungary. Finding the right professionals for a given job is far from as easy as anyone would think, and I haven't even mentioned the human factors yet. Just try to organize a surprise party for your friend so that everything comes together in the end. A few people would already break their backs doing that, let alone building something from absolute scratch in an environment where you are attacked almost from the beginning. Add to this the brutal laws of the business world, the legal labyrinths, the state isn't the one to make life easier, and the struggles with petty, small-minded people you encounter along the way. If everyday life is a qualifier, then business life is the most brutal slaughterhouse, where even the strong fall, because it's no longer about whether I lose weight or not, whether I can go to the gym in the rain, or whether I can find a job for myself, or if there are problems in my relationship. Business life is something completely different, where it's not enough to be strong; if you're not a damn killing machine, you'll simply be trampled because everything here is about money, with that certain knife in your hand with which you cut into the cake, from which you want to take your share.

Here, human relationships change; after a while, you look at people differently, you no longer know whom you can trust and whom you cannot, and the proportions also change, because what I once thought was a lot, I now put a zero behind it, and even then, at least double is needed just to get started. However, this is still not enough for business life, because if you don't have the strength, creativity, problem-solving ability, and the capacity to make correct decisions instantly when the situation demands it, then you'll be eaten alive, and you can go back to cleaning windows at the gas station or filling out CVs on profession.hu. I'm still on a program just like before, but I'm no longer struggling with weights and distances but with life; self-control and discipline are no longer needed for sticking to a diet but for remaining calm in negotiations and meetings, making compromises, making decisions with a cool head, and moving forward even when it's the hardest. During your program, your girlfriends and boyfriends hinder you; me, enemies, ill-wishers, and the self-interested hyenas of the business world, who fear for their positions and money.

As I mentioned, I need to close a few things and confront the mistakes I made in the past. Zyzz Project, the book, the butt-shaping program, food delivery, i.e., pending programs that have not been concluded to this day. Each point would deserve a separate post, but if I really wanted to, I could sum it up in two words: I overcommitted myself.

I was very serious about the Zyzz Project, but on the 43rd day, a few days after the Sequentia video was made, I gave up on the program because I was unable to continue either physically or mentally. A new, truly spectacular several-month transformation is now a fifth-rate issue in my life. Currently, I consider it more important to devote my energies to organizing and coordinating the new LifeT!lt. The photo was taken on the 42nd day of the program.

I promised the LifeT!lt book for this August, and I should have started it in June, planning to write it in 3 months, but that would have meant Tilt being practically closed for 3 months. 3 months, zero posts.

Even blogs with a long history and strong foundations might not survive such a long period without activity, because a blog is simply such that you either write it and continuously put fresh content into it, thereby keeping it moving and generating its development, or you don't, and the readers will, just like in The Truman Show, switch to another channel. I simply didn't risk this, and a significant portion of my posts written during the summer I wrote here instead of them forming chapters of my book. I didn't want to outsource the work to ghostwriters, and let's face it, 3 months might not have been enough to write, edit, and fill a book with content, plus it's almost certain I would have been sued to hell for the information I would have written in it. There would have been a female writer who would have helped me write it, but of course, I didn't accept this help either because I thought I knew better. I rejected masses of such well-meaning, selfless people. Either because I didn't trust them, or because I was a huge asshole.

I intended the butt-shaping program to be a party project from the very beginning. The foundations were there, and initial results were visible, but it was more about me being able to do it, with hundreds of increasingly attractive girls sending me photos of their butts in thongs. I knew this program would generate huge outrage, but that was my goal. Girls would hate these girls because they already looked the way they wanted to look, and boys didn't look kindly on me being in the middle of this whole process. This program, just like that certain mirror selfie, was a classic provocation that I consciously generated.

I loved this program, and the girls loved it too. We went out partying together, every workout was in a great mood, I loved them and loved working with them, but life brought it about that, although I didn't want to, I fell in love with one of the girls. I didn't plan it, it just happened. The butt-shaping program started, and everything went perfectly. I bought the girls everything they needed, and even though I was completely booked by then, I always made time for them out of turn because I loved them, and the public butt-shaping workouts also went on schedule. When everything is beautiful and you feel like life has really come together, as it usually happens, there was a fall. One of the FF girls, with whom I was already deeply involved, got a job opportunity abroad. I am not the type to be in a relationship, but I fell in love with this girl. The girl left, and from then on, I wasn't interested in the program. This girl was the pack leader among the girls, and her absence affected the other girls and the entire program. All this happened a few days after the first report, and since I was no longer there with them after that, the program also died down and could no longer be completed.

Then there are the supplements, the creation of which involves so much work that it blows my mind, and the contracts for which we'll be signing next week. There's also food delivery, the foundations for which are in place, but now we're putting all our money into the supplements. Well, that's it. Everyone can put this information wherever they see fit, but it was an interesting time travel for me too.

Nevertheless.

As I wrote at the beginning of the post, the blog in its current form is over. With the new website, the integration of new people, and the complete transformation, an era ends, which I will always remember fondly, because it was real. Every thought was real, every feeling in the posts was real, and the failures and my flawed decisions were also real. The old readers know what this blog used to be like, the new ones should read the first 150 posts and remember that there once was a LifeT!lt blog, where a new person was born before your eyes, who, by his own strength, against incredible headwinds, built himself up from scratch to reach this point. You have witnessed the development of a life over the past 2 years, what comes next will be something completely different.

And what does the future hold? I will describe this in the next post, titled "The Future"...