BUDAPESTAURANT BREATHE
Let's stop inhaling the opium of the decadent West. I suggest we leave the cozy warmth of wild capitalist shopping malls and look around Budapest for restaurants whose kitchens have thought of those who don't only imagine gastronomic delights with 5 kilograms of cooking fat, but with, say, salad, mozzarella, chicken strips, and cantaloupe.
It's hard, very hard, because I've gathered roughly 60 restaurants scattered around the city where you don't have to strain yourself during a meal, even if you want to eat healthy and diet-friendly foods. Because where we are not, there is the enemy (I'm crapping my pants over this movie, every scene is a huge foundation). Of course, here too, as in the previous post, restaurants need to be weighted, with the difference that everything I list below, I recommend, meaning there is no blacklist. Sticking to the tried and tested system, in this case, only using green and its shades.
Within the post, there will be a separate section for sushi restaurants, and it seems like there's no post without dispelling misconceptions, so now sushi and wok restaurants will provide this. Briefly, it's good if 20% of sushi restaurant meals are diet-friendly; in fact, a significant portion of their dishes rivals the offerings of Burger King and Pizza Hut in terms of calorie and energy intake. In other words, I can imagine few things more harmful than an all-you-can-eat option at Wasabi.
I received a reader's letter saying that I am too Budapest-centric and don't think of those who live in the countryside. Well, because I live here, damn it. I haven't been to the countryside since '97, except for Gödöllő, Pécs, Érd, and Lake Balaton, so I have no idea what's going on in Gyöngyös. But before I'm completely labeled a true Pest jerk, there will be a separate section for rural Hungary in terms of a restaurant guide, because when I was gathering material for this post, I found quite a few vegetarian and organic restaurants in the so-called countryside too, although I don't know what the politically correct term for the countryside is in 2011. I'm doing this, among other things, because the blog is read by a large number of people from Miskolc, Szeged, Kistarcsa, the civic city, and Europe's cultural capital of 2010 (Pécs).
Let's return to the two banks of the Danube and see what catches our eye. An incredible number of vegetarian eateries are almost piled on top of each other in the inner districts, especially in the banking district of the 5th district. As for the outer districts, the situation is dismal. There's hardly a light restaurant anywhere, and even salad bars are rare, and the ones that do exist shouldn't even be called salad. So, here's Schindler's list.
These are the so-called mainstream restaurants, accessible to every good working person, but there would be another category here that caters to the needs of a narrow segment. The good thing about high-end restaurants, if we disregard the pretentious snobbery and, of course, the real expertise and exquisite gastronomic dishes, is that almost every meal here is diet-friendly. Even those that aren't, because they serve a fifth of the average portion, such a small amount that even if we eat it, it's still almost below the allowed calorie intake. Since we're talking about the allowed calorie intake, let's quantify it. Any food that does not exceed 250 kcal per meal is considered diet-friendly, of course within the allowed foods. So, 2 tablespoons of butter is not diet-friendly, just as a quarter of a cocoa roll is not. In other words, a 368-calorie medium potato at Wendy's is a pretty big wagon of crap.
Here are 6 high-end restaurants. I recommend them to anyone whose company reimburses their restaurant bills, or to those who want to feel successful by eating 2600 HUF soup + 12% service charge. But it's really worth going to such a place at least once, even if you can't afford it. But damn, not on a first date.
Costes Restaurant 1092 Ráday utca 4.
According to a Michelin-starred guide, it's worth traveling hundreds of kilometers for the food at 3-star restaurants. Obviously, this is not the case here, but we did get one star. I've always thought Gerendai was a good guy, because he built a festival empire from a scrounging, 3-stage festival for shitty punks, although the business operations and negotiated lease terms are highly questionable. In any case, I'm curious why, if Karcsi managed to create a Michelin-starred restaurant out of nothing, the bigwigs in the industry couldn't do it in 22 years? Because I don't really believe that the island's not-exactly-high-quality gastronomic tents laid the foundation for Costes.
Király Restaurant 1014 Táncsics Mihály utca 25.
When I had a serious girlfriend and we were celebrating our 1-year anniversary, I took her to dinner in the Castle, specifically to the Alabárdos restaurant. I don't know why I'm writing this here, because that restaurant will also be discussed, but the point is that all the Castle restaurants are specifically geared towards foreigners. I say this also because I don't think live gypsy music as an extra among special programs would be so appealing to a Hungarian. They have a special offer for 16,990, a four-course candlelight dinner, and they even cover the taxi cost. An unmissable offer, needless to say.
Oh yeah, 50 people liked this crap, so if someone would do me the favor of liking LifeT!lt, I'd appreciate it, and then I could feel more successful than Király Restaurant.
Callas Café & Restaurant 1062 Andrássy út 20.
I'm not sure if the place is high-end, but I really like its name and the whole restaurant. There's always a vehicle worth at least 40 million HUF parked in front of the place, specifically a Bentley Continental. Chances are it belongs to the owner, and it's another great example of how much profit margin there is on a slice of meat and a glass of wine. With a view of the Vuitton House, Gucci, and Cavalli in the corner, the Opera, it's a favorite spot for new-money reptiles, by the way. As an accessory, it's almost mandatory to bring at least one of your gold-digger girlfriends. There's plenty of choice: Szilvi Bódy, Éva Horváth, Lia Kustánczi, Linda Zimány, Zita Debreczeni, Regina Dukai, basically anyone who isn't currently being screwed in Dubai by an obese Arab billionaire.
Belcanto Restaurant 1061 Dalszínház utca 8.
It has an incredibly tasteless website, considering they charge 6200 forints for a salmon with green garnish. To make matters worse, it participates in the "Torkos Csütörtök" (Gluttonous Thursday) peasant-blinding movement. It's not my place to evaluate their wine selection, as I know nothing about it, but I suspect they rely too much on their vast wine list. Their oldest wine is a 1994 Tokaji, and most of their wines were born after 2004. Furthermore, the restaurant has a certain canteen smell and feel to it, especially compared to the other places. Tables are piled on top of each other in a large room – damn it, we're not in the trophy room, whatever. It's supposedly a legendary place with great traditions, considered one of the most iconic places in theatrical circles.
XO Bistro 1088 Rákóczi út 5.
It's a very nice place, but something's not right, because there's no food over 5000 forints, which might also be because it's in the 8th district. We can't even talk about a wine selection; chances are, if you somehow manage to sneak in a bottle of wine from Match in a poacher's coat, you'll be about the same as if you had ordered it there. Their definition of vegetarian food is quite broad, that's for sure. There was a Valentine's Day menu, I'm just noticing it now. Get out.
Nobu Restaurant 1051 Kempinski Hotel Erzsébet tér 7–8.
I don't know who was at the opening, I certainly wasn't, because my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail somewhere, but it's worth checking out the reports from the opening ceremony. Everyone who wanted to belong somewhere they didn't quite belong was there. It was a gathering place for editors-in-chief, hairdressers, TV assistants, and self-proclaimed stylists who hoped for a boost in their careers from a photo with De Niro. The pathetic careerist label, by the way, gained new meaning in Hungary with Patrícia Szabó, who burned herself into everyone's consciousness. Hold on to something, and anyone who just ate should grab a bucket, because you haven't seen anything like what's coming now.
Bence: Question. You need to know. Who was the editor-in-chief of Cosmo who was fired, then, taking self-immolation to the extreme, filmed a scene from Sex and the City?
Babett: Patrícia Szabó.
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Back to Nobu. The place is dominated by incredible luxury and professionalism. Most recently, at a company dinner for 5 people, they managed to rack up a bill of 170,000 forints. Their salad selection is first-class, but I really would have a hard time finding fault with anything. The saddest thing is that I think the design of their restroom cost more than my apartment.
Alabárdos Restaurant 1014 Országház utca 2.
This is that particular restaurant where we celebrated an anniversary. The table was booked for 8, and we arrived at 9. Obviously, I went with a woman, so that 1-hour delay is clear. The place has a maître d' who, I couldn't find a better word for it, is the pimp of the waiters, because he is God there. No joke, the guy mentioned that we were 1 hour late. This is the kind of place where you feel uncomfortable, they adhere so strictly to every protocol. Antique furniture, tables, armchairs, paintings on the wall. Everywhere and about everything, the true old-fashioned, high-class place is reflected, where if you drink from your glass, the waiter immediately refills it. Oh yes, a waiter stands next to you at the table the whole time. I had to send him away. I wanted to pour some wine, and the maître d' jumped up, took it from my hand, poured it, and I could see he was annoyed. I'm sure we broke at least 30 unwritten protocol rules and etiquette laws, but that's how it is. The food is okay, after all, they prepare it at the table if you ask. The place was quite alright, but I personally felt constrained by all this fuss.
Speaking of high-end living, let me show you a place in Moscow that is considered one of the coolest spots from the Urals to the Portuguese coast. The place is called RaÍ, an exclusive club where only the ultra-rich can get in, but even among them, there's serious screening. It's impossible for an average person to get in, so Ádi, Ákos, and I are already planning to check out the club (from the outside) this summer. If you're not on the list, entry is based on face, and they can easily ask for 2-300, or even 500 dollars for an entry ticket. It must be a huge place, the music is divine, and what girls are there at 2:42. Anyway, I promised myself I'd dance in Mix this Saturday like the guy at 0:28.
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I'm now wondering whether to include an article about sushi in this post, or save it for the next Budapest restaurant entry. The only problem is that the next one will be about online food ordering, and how would I fit that in now? There will be a separate post for sushi, that will be the solution, yes.
I've continued my workouts, tonight I'll scratch out the first report on my training after the forced break, and there will also be an article, as I mentioned, about internet food ordering under the title Budapestrestaurant.com, there will be a post about sushi and why Nordsee is not a diet-friendly chain, and generally about why franchise systems are unable to offer healthy food, even if seemingly this is their business policy, and I'm talking about global franchise systems here. There will also be a post about workouts, so whether you smoke next to it, or have a street cola on weekends, more about vitamins and supplements. The article will also touch upon partying, i.e., how many Mai Tais and Zombies you can drink without consequences, and why we can't like the "I still need to eat a gyro on the way home" group on Facebook. Thank you for this, I'm getting emotional, I can't deny it.
At 100 likes, the party starts with a whistle.
