SMS Messages After the Party...

I don't care where I am, come get me!!!

Yep, the party here is wild... just threw up on someone's head... luckily no one saw who it was :D... and now everyone's looking for me... including myself :D

Even though at home I was determined to break up with him. But when we met, I didn't feel like making a fuss. Instead, I gave him a blowjob in the car.

This morning was a big panic. I didn't know where I was. Not at my girlfriend's, not at my buddies'. Then I realized I was lying the wrong way in my own bed..

I fucked Tamás's mom. It was damn good, that old hag really knows her stuff. (Sent to Tamás)

Damn, at 8 AM the police woke me up saying I stole a goose... I thought it was a misunderstanding, but after a short while, it clicked that it wasn't...

Sorry, I won't make it, it turned into a pretty ugly night. I'll ask the name of the girl sleeping next to me, screw her again, and then I'm off. (13:37)

My last memory from last night is going into a shop to buy booze... I woke up this morning with 140 grand in my pocket. Help, I might be wanted!

The girl told me to break up, but I don't even know her..

Do you remember why we took the tram and the two bricks up to the 10th floor?

I looked at her ring finger before her breasts. I'm getting old...

Even the weed didn't help. I'm in a worse mood, but at least I'm afraid of clouds and crickets.

"Just woke up, don't know where I am. I think I stole a lawnmower. Where are you guys?" "Come into the house and we'll talk about it."

I won't make it! I'm at the ER with Z, grandma glued her denture above her eye, but it didn't come off, and now the thinner is stinging her eye. The parrot isn't here yet either, if you see it, let me know! Kisses.

One person per limb carried me home, while I was croaking because I imagined myself as a frog. It was a good party.

Yesterday I threw up underwater in a hockey helmet. Awesome!

Who waxed my ass??

Congratulations, Wanker! You threw up while lying on your back, singing the Marseillaise! I've never seen anything like it!

Would someone please tell me what happened in the last 4 days???

I called my mom with a bleeding dick, asking what to do now. She just laughed at me and hung up.

Woke up in your mom's car this morning. Ideas?

Hi! I looked for you at the party yesterday. Did I find you?

"I'm feeling awful, I wish you were here" - from my totally drunk boyfriend, who was lying next to me in bed -

"I think yesterday's high was a good one. I don't remember anything and I'm at a train station where they mainly speak German. Maybe I won't go to work on Monday" - reply: "Don't worry about Monday's work, today is Tuesday. The police are already looking for you, your parents will be proud of you. By the way, where the hell are you?"

We went up to her place to hook up. We found her boyfriend there having sex... with my girlfriend.

I just had to reach into my sister's bag to turn off her vibrator so our parents wouldn't hear it. What kind of brother am I?

I fell asleep on the train. I'm sitting at a stop here. The locals say this is Northern Slovakia. I don't believe them. I don't want to...