DAY 5

All I can do is congratulate you, sweetie, of course, I'll help you with anything I can, and I hope you're a cool chick.

We are on day five. After my huge low point yesterday, I'm in quite good shape today. That's enough about my well-being, because what's much more important is that leg day has arrived. The day that eight out of ten people skip. I confess, I also didn't give a damn about this day for years, simply because I didn't think it was important. So, gym workout for leg muscles. Many people don't consider them important muscles, believing that women at the beach will look at the upper body anyway. Though with women, you can never know anything, as they don't usually board the train of reality and predictability. A few days ago, I had a date, and sometimes I ask the question, "but seriously, what the hell do women want?" The answer came: "WE, women, don't know either, but we expect YOU, men, to know." Now, there are few things that make me vomit as much and as far as the word "guy," but I'm also dying from this "we, women" and "you, men" bullshit. Thank God the girl managed to condense this into one sentence. I don't know if that's why the chick isn't sitting on my bed right now, or if that was all there was to it, but why insist on this "YOU" and "WE" talk?

Let's move on instead. Working out your leg muscles is not primarily about muscle shaping and a nice butt. Leg muscles are the largest muscle group in the body. We are talking about such a huge muscle group that working it out raises hormones to such an extent that the body enjoys the effects for days. More simply and accurately, every leg day increases testosterone levels in the body for up to 3 days after the workout, and obviously estrogen in women. So, on leg day, we not only shape our thighs and calves but also pump the rest of the body's muscles full of hormones and blood, and the elevated hormone levels keep them working for days. Just one example of the effect of workouts on hormones. I'm chatting with a female colleague who is describing how she hasn't had sex with her boyfriend for two days, and therefore has a brutal sex drive (lol). Well, that was the point when I knew this girl was going to get laid. Weeks passed, and suddenly a memo came my way in the form of a conversation that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Good. Okay. I'm going to buy condoms. A few days later, in a similar state of craving, I suggested she go work out and release her tension. (For those who haven't figured out why I suggested this, please do me the favor of jumping out the window. Thank you.) It happened, she went to work out, then called me, saying it wasn't going to work, because she was even more aroused than before the workout. Well, of course, because working out boosts our hormone levels, and our sexual appetite increases. After that, since there was no problem with mutual attraction, we successfully liked the office sex app. I hope she reads the blog and is now really pissed off that I told this story.

Let's get back to the workout. For leg day, the mandatory warm-up is the treadmill or the bike. I vote for the bike, a 10-12 minute warm-up prepares us adequately. I love this day. The workout itself went very well. I was full of energy, and I managed to work out until my legs were shaking. I achieved such muscle strain that I could barely stand, and on this day, that's exactly what we need. I had to rush because after the workout, of course, came the massage, and getting from Óbuda to Klinikák within 25 minutes is harder than getting into Ötkert around midnight.

Massage. Another difficult territory. After a while, due to the heavy muscle strain, we need to relax somehow, and a point comes when stretching between exercises and sauna won't be enough. We need a relaxing sports massage. It will be hard to find one, I'm telling you in advance. Of course, many advertise themselves, but believe me, 9 out of 10 masseuses are whores. Or at least they "take it," and someone who has already put her pussy out for 10-15 thousand will not massage you for 4-5 thousand for an hour, or if she does, it won't be worth it. But why would she? An average sex session is 10k, and there's a good chance they'll be done in 15-20 minutes. Seriously, which girl is going to massage you for an hour for 5 thousand after that? And even then, it requires serious effort from her. And I haven't even talked about the right technique yet. Oh yes, go to a man. Ugh, you stupid gay, I need a woman. I don't want a man touching me for an hour. A woman should do it, even if it takes longer to find the right one.

Well, the person I went to was actually a man :))))))))) Okay, this really hit me now, because I just realized it. But I can explain. He's been coming to my parents' place for years, and he's really good + he massages with clothes on, I mean :))))))) Okay, I'm really not getting out of this one well, I'll just drop it. The main thing is to find a good masseuse. It was a hell of a day by the way. I woke up at 7 AM, and the day was still far from over. In the evening, of course, friends came over to play poker. We gathered, and what was the first thing they did? What? Obviously, they ordered 3 huge pizzas. Damn it. They brought chips, pretzel sticks, whatever you can imagine. They know I'm on a program, and then a face asks what he should bring. I said, a Diet Coke for me. And the idiot showed up with a 2.5-liter regular one, just as expected. I can't describe how good it felt to sit and watch the others eat pizza. I hadn't seen food over 200 kcal for six days, and here we go. Onion chips as a side. Böhm brought 5 beers. Great. I'll just stare at them in the fridge for another 59 days, it's irrelevant. Well, yes, I haven't covered this yet, such a diet involves sacrifices. No drinking, you have to go to parties without alcohol, no late-night gyros, you have to draw the line at company meals. At such gatherings, you can't do anything else but take a deep breath and make your protein shake while the others wait for the delivery guy and open the second box of Pilot crackers. I'm going to check if any of my friends have a birthday, because then we can go to Trófea. That's going to be killer.

Ultimately, I went all-in with Q8 trefoil as a short stack, Viktor called with A9 off. He knocked me out with Ace high, as expected. The damn 6 outs didn't come. We must have been nearing the end of the poker game when Ákos drew my attention to the top of my Christmas tree – which I had planned to take down in February – well, that plan was thwarted by a spider infestation. No joke, hundreds of spiders appeared at the top of the tree. They lived on the tree from the wood, and swarmed to the top. Petya, I think, even took a photo, if he sends it, I'll post it. This sounds funny, but I was scared as hell, the movie Arachnophobia had its effect. At 1 AM, I went to my parents' place for the vacuum cleaner, I don't know why I don't have one, good thing they live on the same street. The situation was quite a fail, as I woke them up, pale as a ghost, saying I needed the vacuum cleaner because there were hundreds of spiders in the apartment. It must have been a real Trainspotting scene. Vacuum cleaner on, tree thrown out the window. The tree was taken down in 5 minutes, I barely dared to fall asleep. I'm slowly closing out the first week, with this day, the gym workouts for this week are over. Within hours, I'll post what program I'm actually working out in these 8 weeks, as far as the gym is concerned. That will be a bit more of a professional post.

Tomorrow, a run, then a weekly summary, and slowly I'll start with more in-depth, research-based articles. Until then, try not to eat every piece of junk.