The "mere" humans

I've been on a program for quite some time now, and that 'good time' adds up to 171 days.

So, for 171 days, I've been sticking to my diet and going to the gym at least 4 times a week. 171 days is a long time, also because after such a period, one tends to view certain life situations differently. By now, following the diet causes me no problems whatsoever; it has become part of my life, and the same goes for working out. There's no battle here, I don't need to gather strength from YouTube clowns' motivational workout videos, and lately, I don't even need music. In other words, I don't need any unnecessary bullshit to live the lifestyle I live.

This 'it's hard to stick to a diet' mumbling makes absolutely no sense to me, and every time I hear someone say that sticking to the diet is fine, but how do they handle alcohol, and what can they drink that fits, when I hear this, I just stare and think, what the hell is wrong with this person.

It wasn't always like this; my life also had pathetic and contemptible periods, though even then I didn't ask such stupid questions. The mere knowledge of how low I was, was enough.

But

And here comes a huge "but," which continues with "but I've been living this clean lifestyle thing for more than 5 months now, and that's already long enough for it to become natural for me, or if you prefer, a part of my daily life, to wake up, make my breakfast, eat from a meal prep container 3 times a day, drink a protein shake in the evening, and work out 4 times a week."

It's as natural for me as you going to work, getting in your car, taking the bus, or whatever the hell anyone does, but the point is you have a rhythm of life and you do it. It's no longer strenuous, you don't fret over it, you just do it.

That's why I decided to revert to my pathetic old self, set my diet aside, and binge eat like an animal. I'll eat like a fat woman after 45 hours of strict dieting and see what happens.

I was curious to see what happens if I gorge myself and then go to the gym. How would my body react to this, and generally, what would happen during the workout and in the 12-hour period afterward.

So, I drove myself to the Burger King Drive-thru.

I ordered a Western Whopper meal + bacon, naturally with larger fries and a soft drink. To be safe, I also asked for mayonnaise with the fries, and the drink wasn't zero-calorie either. But I didn't stop there, because there's no real messing around without dessert, right? So I also ordered an Oreo shake.

I ate everything, drank everything, but I felt the story wasn't over yet, because I hadn't felt that truly bone-chilling guilt yet. You know, the kind you feel when you give in like an animal after a week. I needed something else, so since I was in Budaörs, I went into Tesco and bought 3 bars of Milka chocolate too. Peanut, that Tuc biscuit one, and a caramel one. It didn't taste good anymore, but I ate it, and watched what happened.

The first thing I noticed was that I felt absolutely terrible. My stomach was bloated, and I could feel my insulin wasn't happy either. But the point isn't how I felt from this, but how the workout would go after such a meal, and that's where the first surprise came.

I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO THE GYM.

I simply felt like I didn't want to go to the gym, which was astonishing to me because workout days are sacred to me. But now, I felt like I'd do anything just to avoid having to go to the gym. I had become lazy to an alarming degree.

I arrived at the gym and started my workout. The same exercises, in the same way, with the same progressive overload as I’ve been doing for 5 months, but it didn't work. My arms felt like lead, the junk food I consumed had such a detrimental effect on my body’s functioning that I couldn't even come close to the intensity I achieve when I live normally.

I simply felt that my muscles weren't getting adequate blood supply, or if they were, that blood didn't contain the nutrients necessary for a quality workout. Because, it's a basic principle that with good nutrition, your body absorbs quality nutrients, which then enter the bloodstream and reach your muscles, allowing for proper development; this is also what supplements are for, right?

But what did my body get now? Fat, sugar, high GI carbohydrates, and my system couldn't function properly with these.

I wasn't even surprised at how terrible I was, but the point here wasn't even the workout itself, but that after consuming that junk food, I didn't feel like working out.

Now, imagine how much motivation a person who eats this garbage every day has to go anywhere. And you don't even have to go as deep as I did for this. And this is precisely the indicator of those worldly pathetic "I'll start tomorrow," "I'll go to the gym tomorrow" excuses.

These excuses are terribly embarrassing not because you say them, but because behind these monologues, there is always a bad lifestyle, a hedonistic lifestyle, a constant and daily consumption of shitty food. You don't lack motivation or time to go to the gym; it's simply that you live and eat in such a way that your body and mind are so incapable of doing anything due to the sedation from bad food, that you can't even get yourself to go to that damn workout.

But this was just the workout; I knew the story wasn't over. I awaited the next morning, because I knew some pretty wild things would happen then too.

And they did.

I woke up with an intense, gnawing hunger. A hunger I hadn't experienced once in the previous 5 months, but now I did. Of course, I wasn't surprised by this either, as it's a natural process in such cases.

I craved sweets, I craved just a damn scone, but really anything, as long as it was some kind of carbohydrate. Now, I could write for a very long time about how most people skip breakfast altogether, and then suddenly you find yourself at noon, so hungry that you'll eat anything because you don't have proper food with you, there are very few places in the city where you can get healthy food, and then you're just like, "I didn't even have breakfast, now just some crap food and that's it," the chain continues, and you can't even break out of it.

Or rather, you could, but you're too weak for that. You're weak because you eat crap, and you eat crap because you're weak. Then the same thing happens as yesterday, as last week, and as last year: you don't have time, and all these similarly utterly idiotic, crude excuses.

Yet, you just need to eat normally, but "just" is precisely what people can't do.