The Spirit of Christmas
Christmas is like alcohol. It brings our feelings to the surface. This world has long ceased to be about love, but still, it is the only bond between people that keeps this whole system called life going.
It's the holiday of love, isn't it, when the family is together, when theoretically we are with those we love. Many hearts break during these 3 days, because while on weekdays there is plenty of opportunity to distract ourselves, during these days everything around us quiets down, and those shadows appear from which we are forced to flee, and we hear those sounds that the city life and the noise of everyday life successfully manage to suppress in our minds. 3 days when somehow everything falls into place, whether we want it to or not.
Within a year, I lost my grandfather, and as often happens, a few months later my grandmother also died after him. She couldn't live without her husband anymore. But why would she have lived on, after 60 years together, what would she have done alone, she followed my grandfather to be with him again.
My father, although he didn't say it, was naturally very affected by the loss of his parents. Then half a year passed, and so that my mother wouldn't miss out on divine blessing, she also lost her sister, who was the same age as her, at only 55 years old. Suddenly, without any prior warning.
This Christmas was somehow different from the previous ones. But not only because of the loss of family members, but because now for the first time I felt the true significance of Christmas. That humanity needs this holiday, because if this holiday also loses its power after religion, then we will truly have nothing left to cling to.
For some, Christmas brings pain, a cathartic, deep pain, while for others it means the peak of emotions, depending on what emotional state we are in, or who we are not truly with.
Christmas, in an institutionalized setting, confronts us with everything we try to escape from all year. From our feelings. You know, so it doesn't hurt. Many hearts break on this holiday, but at the same time, this is when we can see most clearly. The absence of someone, the definitive absence of some, the clear vision of the grievances we have suffered, the existence of families, or the charade of non-existent families…
Christmas cannot function without love. The tree is not beautiful because of the decorations, Christmas lunches and dinners are not delicious because of the food, the light is not made intimate by the lights, the music is not made intimate by the melodies. These are just backdrops for the play, but the work, the grand production, is filled with life by the actors, and if there's something wrong with the actors, then the play won't come together either, and the resounding success will be missed.
We fill Christmas with emotions, we put life into it, but if the fire is also missing from us, then the warmth of home will not be created. In life, we decide about everything, with one exception. If our fate turns difficult, we are always to blame for it, except for our emotions. We have no power over our emotions, we do not choose our family members, if we cannot be with the one we truly purely love, in most cases it is not up to us. We have no power over our emotions, we do not decide, we just stand helplessly, waiting for the judgment on those 3 specific days, which the spirit of Christmas pronounces over us.
Merry Christmas.
