Hungarians in England
During LifeTILT's operation, I made a few bad decisions. These bad decisions and the resulting negative events are inherent to my development, which we can also call experience.
I have never regretted anything, and I wouldn't change anything in retrospect either. I would still take that girl to Paris now, with whom we had no common future, but the moments of happiness are necessary, even if you have to pay emotionally for those moments for months afterward.
While building the LifeTILT business, I paid hundreds of thousands unnecessarily to people who either cheated me or I simply chose bad professionals, but I don't regret these financial setbacks either. If I could, I would pay them the same way, because I'd rather lose hundreds of thousands now than millions later just because the slap or the realization of who I shouldn't start with in the future didn't come in time. These reference points are needed, these slaps are needed, because no warning word, no well-intentioned warning can be as strong as experience and the slaps given by life. To this day, I am grateful for these slaps, because a punch now is better than a gut punch later that will make me unable to breathe, and maybe never again.
One of my most current misguided decisions is translating TILT into English. Here in Hungary, I still thought it would be enough to simply translate TILT, and everything would come by itself, I would reach an 80 million market, but unfortunately, I had to realize that I was needlessly having the posts translated, because the English people simply wouldn't understand what was written here. I'm not talking about grammatical obstacles, but about differences in thought and interpretation, and unfortunately, merely translating words and using correct tenses is far from enough to bridge this gap.
England is a different nation, with its own peculiar way of thinking. They have a different history, they were socialized differently, and the geographical distance is reflected not only in kilometers but also in differences in thinking. An English person will never understand a Hungarian, because for two nations to understand each other, speaking the same language is far from enough. Speech is just a collection of words, but behind the words lie emotions. An "I love you" can never have such a deep and elemental power for a Hungarian person as the word "szeretlek" (I love you), and this is true even if someone lives in England for 5-10, or even 25 years.
In the eyes of the English, we Hungarians will always remain just immigrants. Guests, if you prefer, no matter how high our position, and no matter how proud we are of ourselves and our work. Just as we don't understand them, their humor, their idioms, they don't understand us either.
LifeTILT is Hungarian. Every thought in it is Hungarian, it conveys Hungarian emotions, and it reacts to all the problems of Hungarian society. It satirizes the shortcomings characteristic of Hungarian people and analyzes social strata in a peculiar, unique environment that we call Hungary. These words, problems, and these thoughts mean nothing to an English person. They are decades ahead of us in terms of thinking, whether it's about social justice, the enforcement of our fundamental rights, the individual's place in society at all times, their duties, or even disregarding our self-interest for the sake of the community.
Most Hungarian people are either unable or unwilling to grow up to this way of thinking, because we come from a country where we have just shed the heavy clothes put on us by socialism, but standing in front of the wardrobe of true democracy, we are surprised to find that the wardrobe is empty, or if not empty, then severely lacking.
England's cultural and intellectual development can easily draw you in and sweep you away. It's not difficult to adopt a new rhythm, a more livable system, even for the slowness of the Hungarian mind, if that system offers us consistency, predictability, and hundreds of opportunities as an alternative. At this point, many Hungarians fall into the trap of thinking that by adopting this rhythm, they have integrated, that they have become more, that they have become a higher quality Hungarian than those who stayed at home, even though these Hungarians have done nothing but entered a ballroom in the same clothes they started from home in, with only slight changes in the scenery. The environment may change, but the clothes are very difficult to change, because that certain wardrobe that dresses societies, burned into our parents by Hungarian ill-fate, communism, and in whose spirit we were raised, is still empty, and unfortunately, money cannot help with this.
The irony of the matter is that Hungarians, even with many decades of social and intellectual backwardness, compete with the English, because we are a talented and innovative nation. Hungarian people represent value in England. We don't go there for aid, but to work, and whoever is willing to work and is open enough to develop will find their way there. Despite this, and no matter what we believe about ourselves or our role in everyday English life, the English look askance at us and have closed their doors to us. Of course, not just to us, let's say they've had enough of the many Pakistani, Syrian, Polish, Indian immigrants, and they're uniformly telling everyone who isn't a true English person to get lost.
"The English are incredibly open." This is the primary belief for tourists, but the more time we spend with them, the more this kind of openness fades into obscurity, and the walls rise higher between native English people and any immigrant nation. After a while, if we are able to recognize this, if we are able to notice their complete lack of interest behind "how are you," if we are able to take the English smile directed at us in stride, then we will see the England where we truly feel that, as Hungarians, we can only truly feel at home in Hungary.
Before there's any misunderstanding and someone thinks I'm drawing these conclusions based on a 5-day stay in London, I'd like to tell them that I lived in London for an extended period even when the Hungarians who have been living in England for years now weren't even thinking about the island nation, and quite possibly couldn't even imagine their lives outside the administrative boundaries of their own Hungarian city. I lived there, I know what I'm talking about, I observed this world from the inside, and it didn't feel good. It didn't feel good to be a part of it as a Hungarian, because England is like visiting someone. A visit where the host is incredibly polite, chats pleasantly with us, but after 2 hours, they're already looking at their watch, while thinking to themselves, "Of course, yes, you're a good kid, and we can even talk, but it's about time you headed home."
Nothing in England is what it seems, because England is like their food. It looks incredibly good from the outside, but when you bite into it, you experience no flavors, it evokes nothing in you. You eat without being satisfied, you live there without truly experiencing life. The English mentality for a Hungarian person is an illusion of life, where life, just like their food, contains traces of emotions.
England lacks everything that we, as Hungarians, have grown accustomed to, and in the long run, neither money nor relative prosperity (with twenty-five caveats, of course) can replace this. There is only one argument in favor of England, and that is the vision for the future, which has been an unknown concept in Hungary for years.
I talked to many Hungarians out there, and every time I asked them if they would come back, they simply answered with a slightly sad face, "There's nowhere for us to go back to."
And that's the sentence that says it all. Because the fact that hundreds of thousands of Hungarians live in England is not England's glory, but Hungary's shameful failure. Life is not easier in England; it would be pointless to think so. All Hungarians play the same drama there as they do here, but while in England the curtain falls at the end of the performance, you know there will be another play tomorrow, whereas here, if the curtain falls, it could easily be the end of the song.
LifeTILT will open a market in England in 2014, but not in the way I've thought until now. I'm not interested in the English, only the Hungarians in England. I will focus on them, because the nation must not fall apart. There must be a force that unites the community abroad. Hungarians need each other, and the country needs these Hungarians. If they cannot come back, then we will go out for them, and I will work on this.
Next year, I'm moving there for a few months and trying to unite the Hungarian community living there, just as I did at home. Once that's done, we can consider any kind of market opening.
"Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to tell you in person what I wanted to; I hope it reaches you.
Even though I don't know you, I still feel like I do. I am very proud of you and what you have achieved so far, what you are doing, and what you will achieve! Even though I am a girl unknown to you, speaking from faraway London, I want you to know that this girl believes in you and knows that you are capable of anything! Only your mind, your fears, your doubts can limit you. But don't mind them, because in reality, nothing and no one can stop you! Whatever your goal, your plan, you have everything within you to achieve them!
Believe in yourself, believe in the creative power within you! I believe in you, and I know, I feel from the very first moment, that you are destined for great things! That you have a special mission. I am aware that I don't know you... but that's what I feel about you. Every time I looked into your eyes, I saw how much pain was within you, which you were trying to hide. How much doubt and fear reside within you, even though you know you have to be strong, because you think you have no other choice. I would have loved to hug you and tell you: I know this whole thing is damn scary, and you're at rock bottom, but screw it! Listen to your heart and believe in yourself! I know you were born to win!
I had to write this down, say it, because it wouldn't let me rest. You might think I'm crazy, but I don't care. I'm glad you were here, and I hope you had a good time, and managed to get done what you wanted. If you need any help or support, I'm here. I'm happy to help you in any way I can!
Have a nice day."
