Gym Around The World

 

I'd like to outline some fundamental aspects of gym workouts that, I fear, even those who've been struggling in the gym for years and for whom 'working out' still means a round trip ticket between the bench press and the bicep curl bar, are unaware of.  It's ridiculous how clueless some people wander around gyms, even after many years, without even a minimal spark of understanding. Let's start with the basics. For cutting, we use higher rep ranges, i.e., 3x15, 4x12, and 5x10. We don't go below this, as that would be for bulking, but advanced individuals can try killer variations like 20-15-12-10-8. For bulking, lower rep ranges are needed, using weights that push you to your limits. You need to shock your muscles to make them grow, and supplements will assist you with this later on. 3x10, 4x8, 5x6 are the classic bulking rep counts, and the pyramid is also present here, but it looks like 10-8-6-5.  

We've laid the foundations, but with this knowledge, you can still wipe your ass with it because now you're just not completely clueless. Working out is a sport just like soccer or ice hockey, or any other physically demanding activity. Either you have the talent, diligence, perseverance, and you'll achieve results, or you don't, and you should go play squash with the snobby assholes and warm the bench. A friend of mine doesn't go to the gym because he doesn't see the point in moving weights back and forth. It might seem that way from the outside, but it's a bit more complex and intricate than just lifting weights like a dumbass. For bodybuilding and body sculpting, you need to learn proper breathing, exercise execution, and constantly keep yourself under control, paying attention to your body and focusing on working your muscles. Gyms are full of mirrors not because everyone there is a narcissistic buffoon, but because you can check whether you're performing the exercises correctly or not. You need to control your workouts in the mirror while performing the exercise, because if you're just posing, then you're just a fucking idiot, and you should be aware of that. To master technically correct gym training and conscious, focused muscle workouts, it takes months, and I'd even venture to say years. The learning phase is just the entry fee because learning something is one thing, but putting that knowledge into practice is quite another. Some people pass their driving test perfectly on the first try but will never, in their entire lives, be able to drive in traffic or park. Ask my mother or my girlfriend about this. It's the same with the gym. Not everyone is suited for it. Either due to their physique, they won't be able to perform, or because they're untalented, or they have mental issues. I don't know which of these you have, but in any case, start with this post, and then the rest as you please. I will now summarize the essence of weight training in 9 points, which you should adhere to, otherwise your entire existence at the gym is a waste of time, and you won't make any progress. This applies equally to women's body sculpting and men's muscle building...

1. Exercises, weights, and rep counts tailored to your body type. This is the foundation, the origin, the essence of everything, I can't emphasize enough how important this is. If you mess this up, every minute you spend in the gym is utterly pointless.

For endomorphs, high rep counts with light weights. An endomorph should only and exclusively focus on cutting; no other thought should even cross their mind. An endomorph male should even do a mixed bulking-light cutting program during bulking. Mesomorphs can cut or bulk; in their case, only a correctly structured program will determine the results they achieve with their body. Ectomorphs should bulk with fewer sets and heavier weights, or sculpt their bodies, depending on gender. An ectomorph should not cut. To what? They'll already have enough trouble gaining mass. But if they want to look like a scrawny road worker peasant, then go right ahead.

2.  The cardio machines are in the gyms for you to warm up on them before your workout. They are good for this, but I fear sometimes not even for that. No one should even think of running on those crappy machines there, because it's useless, I'm telling you now, just like the bike machine is worth jack shit. There's only one machine that's useful, and that's the stair climber. For women and gays. So, anyone who feels even a little bit connected to this whole LifeT!lt lifestyle and workout thing, should feel free to piss on the gym's cardio machines.

3. Maximum number of exercises per muscle group. This is extremely important primarily because if you go above these limits, your muscle enters a zone where it will no longer respond to the training; you won't be able to stimulate your cells anymore. Therefore, train small muscles lightly, large muscles heavily. These are the maximum exercise counts.

Neck 2 exercises, shoulders 3, chest 4, biceps 3, triceps 3, abs 3, back 6-7, glutes 3, legs 7, calves 2, forearms none needed.

4. From the above sets, the more mentally gifted may have already realized that due to the high number of exercises for back and legs, a separate training day must be dedicated to them, and they cannot be combined with any other muscle group except the abs. Let's quickly clarify what a workout plan looks like broken down into 1 week, and what muscle groups can be worked on within a single training day. If you start training one muscle group, you will also stimulate so-called associated muscles. These are secondary and tertiary muscles, which essentially warm up your muscles for the upcoming exercises. I see a lot of workout plans that, for example, look like leg - triceps day. But how the hell does that even make sense, and where do these people learn this? You work your legs and then start on your completely untouched, un-warmed-up, cold triceps? But I've also seen back - chest day, and biceps – triceps too….

Chest – Biceps day… Back day separate… Shoulder – Triceps day… Leg day separate….

That's it. This is what a decent human gym program looks like, and this is how exercises trained for muscles can be varied within a workout. Oh, and abdominal training at the end of every workout day. I know it's a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, we cannot apply such templates to women due to their body structure and menstruation; they always need individually designed training days.  

5. Reception. This is a sensitive, very important, and integral part of our gym life. Before I delve into the demons at the counter, such as soft drinks and other inappropriate products, I want to describe one of the most crucial things about the gym, and I ask you to remember this for life. You have to sleep with the receptionists!!! At least the better ones. There's no way around it, you have to do it. During a program, you spend half your life in the gym, or at least it feels like it, and it's good to be on good terms with the women hanging out there. Further advantages in case of sex are that the towel is free, you get the key out of turn, you get a bunch of free protein shakes and whatever you want, she'll know which locker you like, and she'll blend your homemade protein powder with the milk there. It has a lot of advantages, so just be smart.

6. Taking supplements. Protein or mass gainer shake is mandatory immediately after training; if you take amino acids or anabolics, take half the recommended amount 20 minutes before training, then the other half 20 minutes after starting training. Creatine after training, BCAA during training. All energy-boosting stuff directly before training. Don't eat anything for an hour and a half before training; eating anything during training is FORBIDDEN; you MUST eat within 1 hour after training to replenish your stores.

7. During training, fluid replenishment is essential, of course, and that's where all the garbage available at the counter comes in. If I ever have a gym (lol), Coca-Cola and any sugary multi-national product will not set foot in it. I've seen countless times that people drink 1.5-liter iced teas during their workout, and after 3 minutes of bench pressing, they down energy and isotonic drinks. With a gym workout, especially if it's a clown workout, which describes 70% of gym-goers, you burn, in a good case, 250-300 calories. Now, if you drink 1.5 liters of Nestea during your workout, which contains 560 kcal, then what are we even talking about? I'm downstairs in the gym, standing at the counter, when a guy in his 40s comes up to me with a towel around his neck (if someone in the gym walks around with a towel around their neck, feel free to throw something at them) and asks for a half-liter peach iced tea. I chuckle to myself, then Szandika, the receptionist, says he's already had his second. Great, but I'm not even surprised by these things anymore. I turn around, thinking I'll check out what our man is doing at the machines, and I see that a personal trainer is working with the guy... Seriously, should I kick you in the head? This is what drives me crazy, that a "trainer" stands next to the guy and doesn't tell him not to drink that crap? Let someone try to drink a Cappy pear during my workouts. Might as well have eaten some cotton candy with it. Of course, it wasn't over yet, because 20 minutes later a Red Bull also arrived. In other words, the guy's workout took place with a massive calorie surplus under the supervision of an "expert."

You will never achieve results if you don't pay attention to what you drink. You can stick to a 400-calorie diet, but if you drink 1,300 calories a day. Plain water, milk, brewed filter tea, a half-liter of diet coke every 3 days, and OCCASIONALLY a flavored mineral water. You don't need O2, or Red Bull, or Jana strawberry, or some fucking green apple. A shot of vodka is 224 kcal, Unicum is 334, a Mai Tai is 670, 1 dl of red wine is 72 kcal. Just thought I'd write that down.

8. Rhythm, tempo, and breathing. When I write that talent is needed for working out, I mean the combination of these, because correctly performing exercises and achieving quality muscle stimulation requires a certain level of coordinated movement. This is where conscious training differs from just yanking weights. Let's take the simplest exercise everyone knows as an example, the bench press. You lie down and push the bar. Everyone can do this, and practically everyone gets on the bench with this much knowledge. Just one example of what I'm talking about.

• You lie down, arch your upper body, and let your shoulders drop back, holding them there throughout the exercise; that is, they shouldn't move even during the push. Anyone without imagination is in deep trouble right now; we'll continue with the rest. 
• You grip the bar depending on which part of your chest you want to work, and this is where breathing comes in. 
• As you SLOWLY lower the bar, you inhale, hold it at the bottom so you don't use momentum by bouncing off your chest, then exhale as you push up, all while keeping your back straight, lying stably, and adhering to what was described in point 1. Lower slowly and push up quickly, all with rhythmic, continuous movement, concentrating on the muscles. Never just try to lift the weight; focus on working the muscles. You don't understand this now, but perhaps one day… 

9. Rest periods between sets, which almost no one adheres to. This is when people wander around and make phone calls. A maximum of one minute rest can be taken between sets so that your muscles don't cool down. It's no accident that women need to be aroused and kept warm before and during sex.

Every exercise has its own technique. You go to the gym and start doing sets with 90kg and you think... But try it correctly once, and I guarantee that even 40kg will be a problem, and then maybe you'll even progress. There are two paths in gym training and in workouts in general. One is to gather quality, usable information about diet, correct exercise execution, and taking appropriate supplements for you, which will lead to results and a beautifully sculpted body. Or there's the other path, years of hopeless struggle in gyms, ruining your joints, deforming your body, not even dieting, so why bother working out, zero sense of achievement, this is not what you wanted, this is not why you came, you get bored, you quit, then you start again but damn, how, and why, and based on what concept? So, it's terribly pathetic. Even if you do everything right, it will take at least 1 year to produce results that will make girls instinctively reach for a pillow to protect their knees from intense use.

Let's say you've lost the excess weight and want a six-pack. Okay, at least half a year of hard training and you'll have it, provided you also maintain a diet. That's just how it is because just as there's no turbo diet, there are no real and lasting short-term results here either. What I sometimes see is a cabaret and utterly pathetic, that people invest hundreds of thousands of forints in gym memberships and their workouts for years, and the best part is that it's all for nothing because they're doing it wrong instead of reading up on it for at least 20 minutes. They pay for everything, buy everything, just so they don't have to sweat, or hurt, or suffer. The TeleShop and all those gay people with their defective products are built on such zero-series individuals. The gym is like picking up girls. Either you learn the language of women and find truly valuable women, or you bumble around for a lifetime, getting rejected by the rejects...