Szia, Budapestről származunk

So much for legendary movie quotes, because I was looking at the blog's visitor data and noticed that several people from London, Swansea, Birmingham, and Bromborough are following the events, so this post is partly for them too.

Back in 2006, I lived in London for half a year. Four of us went out, a two-story house, four rooms, two bathrooms, 200 pounds a month. Within a year, two of us were back home, one guy went on to America, and the other to Austria. With this little migration, I tried to illustrate how good it is to live in England. We had everything; we lived six times better compared to the conditions here, but you have to be born in England. I remember a scene when I was explaining my view to the company's security guard that while in Hungary 40% of women are very good, 50% are average, and 10% are unacceptable, in England it looks like 10, 20, 70. Three days after the conversation, I heard back that he wanted to beat me up ever since. There's no sugarcoating it, if you see a good-looking woman in London, it's a sheer coincidence that she's Czech, Polish, or Hungarian. The wildest part is that even the good-looking women there are somehow crappy. I can't describe it, you have to see it to understand.

I was already working out in 2005, and in fact, before I went abroad, I was in pretty good shape, and I wanted to continue the workouts I started here in Hungary. We went out in January 2006, and I thought that England had consistently mediocre weather, always raining, and 14 degrees Celsius. I was wrong. It was easily -10 degrees Celsius, which was a joy to see, but it never snowed, only rained. I still don't understand why. Let's say you're going abroad right now, and you don't want to give up your lifestyle there either, focusing on England in my case. I know that territory; I have no idea what the conditions are like in other countries. What kind of food can you get there? Is it true that England has the worst food in the world? What are the sports opportunities? Will England never win a World Cup again? And generally, what should you do in the first few weeks, assuming you want to work out?

I think let's start with the food. There are two problems in England: one is that we are in England, and the other is that the food here is clearly the worst on the continent. But I'd even risk a global award. They eat potatoes with everything and pour vinegar on them, and then they look at me like I'm crazy for putting ketchup on my ham and cheese sandwich. Besides that, everywhere – and by everywhere, I mean literally everywhere – they eat the same thing. Eggs, cooked tomatoes, beans, some kind of meat, sausage (but of the incredibly crappy variety), vegetables, and an inhumane amount of potatoes in a separate container. I saved the real big guns for last, because what goulash soup is to us, fish and chips (fish and potatoes) is vomit to them. They eat these regularly, or hamburgers in all forms. It's not because of inbreeding that the English look like Rooney anymore; it's because they eat this stuff. The other problem is that you can't get diet food at all. Imagine this: there's no rye bread even in the biggest Tescos, and you have to hunt for diet foods in Asda, Sainsbury's, and even Marks and Spencer, which I don't understand because a few years ago they were committed supporters of the "live more healthy" movement. Apropos bread. What's up with the packaged bread, which is obviously white, being soft even after a week? These are catastrophic conditions. I lost 12 kilos in the first month because I didn't want to eat food full of fat, meaning I hardly ate anything. I lived on Subway light sandwiches, Nordsee, and ham sandwiches. The gym facilities, however, are incredibly good. There are very well-equipped gyms, with excellent machinery, well-trained professionals, and wellness facilities that are almost unimaginable in Hungary. Where I went, a three-month pass was 150 pounds. It seems like a lot, but compared to the wages there, it's not, + you really get such a service in return that it's well worth it.

My runs in England had serious problems. We lived 4-5 kilometers from work, and I decided to run in a few times because I could shower at the company. There was one small problem with this: I would have had to run through the Pakistani quarter, which had parts where even the bus hardly dared to stop. Find a park, or a place where there are more white people than black people, and you're good. Here at home, the perception of football might be on the same level as János Kóka's, but abroad it's completely different. If there was a round, the city literally came alive. We were in a suburb of London, and just then Liverpool came to play an FA Cup match against Luton. I was incredibly happy, and I called my dad, like, "F*cking hell!" I think that's exactly how the conversation went. Obviously, I couldn't get a ticket anymore, and for a 30-pound ticket, I didn't feel like I should spend 250. So I thought I'd go down to a small local club and sign up. You hear that, you haven't seen such animals. I just went there to inquire, but in my mind, they already kicked me. I bought a Playstation instead and forgot about the whole football thing.

What I can briefly suggest is that in the first few weeks after your arrival, settle in and thoroughly explore the area. Check out several gyms before deciding; there will be plenty, don't worry. Running is mainly safe in the two inner zones, explicitly dangerous in zones 3–4, and a white person shouldn't even go to the fifth. A larger Hungarian group went to Birmingham a few months earlier than us, and suddenly the news came that they had been beaten to a pulp in a small street, just because they were white and walking in the wrong area.

They say there's racism in Hungary. If that's the case, then in England it's a war between races, because it's one thing that there are already Pakistani, Chinese, Arab, and Black neighborhoods in every city, but the conflict is also very palpable in everyday life. Let me give you an example. Small, minor things, but there are hundreds of them daily. You can only get on buses at the front, and even if you stand at the stop, if you don't wave it down, it won't stop for you. White driver in the cab, I'm going to work, we're on Dunstable Road, and three Black people are waving at the bus at the stop. The white driver drives on without a second thought. And then. A guy at work has been with the company for five years, with the lowest pay grade, zero promotions. We were hired with higher wages to begin with, and I was going to be promoted after six months. My God, so many stories come to mind suddenly, from the purely Black club we accidentally walked into, to the five-month pregnant girl who showed up at my place at 3 AM with two bottles of wine. lol.

The point is, take care of yourselves out there, and don't forget, you're at home here. I came home because I hated living in England; it didn't matter that I earned more in a month than I did in half a year here. I am Hungarian, and I love this country, with all its crap, but maybe that's exactly the crap I love. Come home, kids, because we need you, different winds are blowing here now. If you're staying, then all the best and good luck.