At Home with Kids – As My Wife Experiences It 3

I'm starting to dislike this whole thing.

Because my time with the children has decreased due to the swap, by the fourth day I really missed spending more time with them. So, in the morning, I took the older one to school, and since I had no fixed commitments, I postponed them and went home to be together. 

It's hard to reconcile this, because on the one hand I'm happy that Tomi and Ádám's relationship is getting closer and better every day, but on the other hand, I only spend 3-4 hours a day with them, and I feel that's very little.

Yesterday, Ádám had to be taken to the nurse for his 1-year check-up, and Tomi decided he would take him there too. I thought Erika would be surprised that he was taking Ádám, as they hadn't met before, but luckily everything went smoothly. 

It's amazing to me how much time I have now that I'm not confined to a few-hour window. Government office errands, mailings, permits, all of which had been postponed for months, were all checked off by Thursday. I even had time to run two laps on Margaret Island in the spring sunshine. I usually run in the forest here to save time, so I don't spend precious time that could be used for sports on travel. I often envied Tomi that he managed to go to the gym 4-5 times a week, while most of the time I was happy with two.  

Since we swapped, my daily three coffees have reduced to two, and I'm not dead tired at 9 p.m. It's strange, however, that Tomi, who always goes to bed around midnight or 1 a.m., has been falling asleep at 10 p.m. every day this week, and even at 8 p.m. one day! Usually, I'm the one who says we shouldn't start watching a movie at 9 p.m., but now it's quite annoying that he falls asleep so early every night. He doesn't drink coffee, but I suggested he start 😀

I have to say, this experiment is good, but I wouldn't do it long-term. I like to work; I split 3 days a week between my company and my private practice, so I have 4 days for my family and friends, and that's perfect for me. I don't feel good about being with the little one less; true happiness for me comes from being with them and working simultaneously, but in the same proportion as before, which I established for myself. If he offered to stay home from now on, I still wouldn't want it.

Tomi is getting better and better at the household chores; I was greeted by surprising tidiness today and the clothes were also washed. In the morning, I explained how I usually do it: light clothes, dark clothes, red-pink clothes, dirty items, and Ádám's clothes completely separate. This was already too much for him, as he used to wash everything together (though at that time he only wore black). After we loaded a batch of clothes into the washing machine, he suggested putting another batch into the other machine. Well, that was the dryer.

It's hard for me to deal with myself; I can't imagine living like this. This new system is unusual; our previous roles and responsibilities have been overturned. However, I'm starting to see more and more of its advantages and good sides,  I don't want to jinx it yet, but I trust that these will remain in the long term.

This experiment is interesting. As a mother, I'm finding the current situation increasingly difficult to cope with.