Laura

Laura

  

Less than 2 weeks ago, I received an email from a 25-year-old girl, writing me a desperate letter. I would like to quote a passage from this letter.

"I am currently 174 cm tall and weigh 60 kg, and I follow a 3-day workout plan. I don't have a personal trainer, because when I did, there were no results, just a thinner wallet. Everyone told me something different, everyone recommended their own methods, without results, of course, and I had enough. I started reading professional sites, trying to put everything together, and I learned a lot of new things. That's how I found your blog."

"I started more seriously in May, and there's a little bit of a result, but seeing Petra, it could be much more effective. I have the motivation, willpower, and the necessary finances, I just need a truly knowledgeable person. My boyfriend has a perfect physique, and I feel worse and worse next to him, even though I'm really trying. I'm slowly losing all my self-confidence, I don't want to cry in front of the mirror anymore... I want to change for myself, so that at 25, I finally have the body I've always imagined."

"I would really love if you could take me on..."

This letter was written to me 2 weeks ago by the girl shown in the picture above. Let's pause here for a moment, because not everyone might have grasped the relevant part and drawn the correct conclusion. The "slowly losing all my self-confidence" and "crying in front of the mirror" parts are key here, because if this girl thinks these things about herself and lives her life with such complexes, especially with such a figure, then it's terrible to imagine what Andrea Szulák or Vera Tóth might be doing to themselves at home every day. This is where our society stands in 2011, and this is the result of the consumer society being ramped up to its maximum. A fierce war for the favor of customers, in which the greatest sacrifice has been suffered by the complexes and self-esteem of hundreds of millions of women. Women who compare themselves to Victoria's Secret models are making a huge mistake. Simply because those women don't exist, or if they do, they are only held together and alive by alcohol and Maradona's favorite spice mix. Women comparing themselves to models is like me, seeing black porn actors, crying into the mirror, then crouching in a corner and sobbing in despair, "but whyyyyyyyyy don't I have a 30-centimeter penis." Circling back from Africa to models, these illusions are unattainable. This blog doesn't want you to lose weight so that guys enjoy seeing your more beautiful female bodies more, but because if a woman is mentally well, she has not only helped herself, but also those around her, because show me a woman who is overweight or unhappy, and I will show you a man next to her who is ruined.

 

Laura is now 25 years old, and if I looked correctly, she might have a maximum of 3 kilos of excess weight, meaning this program will not be about massive weight loss, but about how to turn a good-looking girl into a really hot woman. I will now present this process with Laura. One important thing to know about the girl is that her left knee is bad, or her right, I don't remember, and of course, like every woman nowadays over the age of 11, she wants to have breast surgery, which will happen at the end of the program. The medical consultation has already taken place, and in preparation for the surgery, complete rest of the pectoral muscles was prescribed for Laura. Added to this is a 67% lung capacity, which Laura "thanks" nature for with one pack of cigarettes a day. I think it's important to mention that for those who smoke and start the program, with the momentum of their big lifestyle change, they shouldn't try to quit smoking because they won't be able to anyway, and doing such a program is strenuous enough as it is. If we add quitting smoking to this, we are pushing mental boundaries that would be so taxing that it's almost certain the program would end in complete failure. Laura doesn't have to quit either, I only asked her to smoke a maximum of 12 cigarettes a day instead of one pack, and then we'll see about the rest. We will talk more about this in a later stage of Laura's program, but I want her to figure out the situation herself. I don't think there's anything else, so in light of the above, I wrote her workout plan, meaning we need to achieve results with one bad knee and one-third of a lung missing, and we can't touch her breasts, which sounds pretty silly for a woman.

The program starts on July 14th, and in its first phase, we will shed those extra 3 kilos. Yes, those 3, that's three kilos, because of which Laura can hardly look in the mirror anymore. I will also write a post about the female psyche, but this will be preceded by thorough research, which is necessary given the magnitude and depth of the topic. The workout plan and the exercises and  number of sets within it are about body sculpting. I plan for all the excess to be gone in 13-15 days, and what remains will be just right for shaping the buttocks, thighs, and shoulders. At Laura's request, emphasis will be placed on waist training, because she says it's hard for her to lose, although since the crying in the mirror, I don't really believe these legends anymore. The program also has a cardio workout plan, which is completely personalized, especially for Laura, since she has a bad knee, and this also had to be taken into account.

 

I know everyone was expecting a report about what it was like to get wasted in the cocaine capital of the world during Sound, but the truth is, I really don't feel like writing about it. There are still too many memories, the damn dust is still in my throat, and the God of the Dutch, in the form of Heineken, is still flowing in my blood. Furthermore, I don't feel like elaborating on how Tiesto has been a disgrace to the trance genre and music in general for years, and I confess it even hurts a little to write Tiesto's name and the word music in the same sentence. I'm not kidding, during his concert, I felt like I was listening to ringtones on my phone for an hour and a half.  Only Guetta was worse than him, because I was convinced that on Sunday evening at 10 PM, Radio1 was turned on at the main stage, and then after half an hour, I realized that this wasn't Radio1, but Guetta was giving a concert, and this wasn't Radio1, but this guy really plays such bad music. Snoop Dogg is incomprehensible to me at Sound, and as for the Portishead-esque suffering, someone please slap Norbert Lobenwein, the chief organizer, for putting the world's number one hitmakers for suicides on the main stage. But seriously, imagine this music at Sound at half past midnight. There are plenty more names on the list of embarrassingly bad performances, but I won't humiliate the Radio1 stage by listing all their performers and DJs. But let me not just remember the negatives, God bless the members of Swedish House Mafia, Boratt, Digweed, Muzzaik, Underworld, and Fedde Le Grand. That's all about the sound.

 

 

I advanced in VV5. That's all about Való Világ. If all goes well, there are only 200 of us left out of 38 thousand. I'll write about the rude applicants and the casting itself later, but now is not the time, as the next round is tomorrow, and the guy on the phone said it would be a much more thorough audition. I don't know exactly what that means, but anyway, if anyone is near Campona tomorrow around 4, please give me a ride into the city if it's not too much trouble... 

 

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