Slim3 Viola Day 20 –4kg

The program has been running for three weeks, during which I realized that I was stuck. I am a person who is stuck in their life so far, and someone who cannot live their life happily. It's quite sad when an 18-year-old feels they have no goals, no real dreams, although it must be said, perhaps such young people are in the majority in Hungary.

I belong to a world that makes me believe that life must be lived without fun, that they dictate what is good or bad. They don't let you find your own path, because they set an example that is otherwise impossible to achieve, and they expect you to fulfill it. If you fail, they convince you, with the greatest contempt that exists, that you are a big piece of crap. I tolerated this for a long time, because I believed it was the truth, as I grew up with it. But now it has dawned on me that they can make many people believe that this is how your life is beautiful, this is how it is complete, but I am not this, and they won't be able to do that with me. I need to change, I need to make changes. Until now, I was surrounded by friends who always just explained to me that I was this or that, that I was doing it wrong. But meanwhile, they themselves had no life goals, and their parents paid for their otherwise completely empty lives. I considered such people my friends, who, if a situation arises, would easily deny me, easily lecture me, look down on me, and even "kick" me. They don't support me in anything; if they see that the readiness to change has begun in me, they'd rather pull me down, because it actually bothers them that I'm trying, but they are incapable of it, they long for it, but they are afraid.

I have finally broken with this "world". Three days ago, I decided that I would either submit or embrace myself, even if it meant losing everyone. I stand alone before a gate now; my life is about to turn, if I let it. I'm very scared, because I'm alone, but in reality, I have to do it alone. I'm fed up with my life so far, and I have to change, because only then do I have a chance to break out of this empty "world".

Tomi and Lifetilt have already given me more, after just 3 weeks, than anyone else ever has. Because it showed me that you don't have to go where the crowd is headed, but precisely in the opposite direction. You have to step out of your routines, and you have to act, to change. It will be hard, but who said it would be easy? No one promised it would be easy, but until you change, it won't get easier. It will be hard, and I might lose everyone around me, but I'd rather lose everyone than miss the opportunity to change. Because if I miss it, who knows when the realization will come again? And then I'll just sink deeper and deeper. It would be a shame to miss it, because the opportunity is right in front of me now. This is no longer just about losing weight; it's about confronting yourself, your life, your pains, your grievances. And it's about, once you've confronted them, whether you recognized your mistakes, grievances, past bad decisions, bad relationships, and whether you dealt with them, fought through them, took advantage of your opportunities, and acted towards your goals. Because this is what will validate you: your actions, not what people think of you, and not even what you think of yourself, and not whether you lost 10 or 15 kg. Every beginning already contains its end; with the same enthusiasm you start something, you will finish it. Right now, I feel a great strength within me, a desire to change. Now, I can only mess this up for myself, because I can only hinder myself with my fears and worries. But I am capable of overcoming them, just as I am capable of overcoming my life so far.