Slim3 Viola Day 40 –6.5kg
Vio is a special case in the history of Slimek. For her, this program is not primarily about losing weight, but rather about life and experiencing the changes that occur within it.
I spend the most time with Vio, I spend the most time with her, so I've learned a lot about her, but at her request, I won't write down this information, nor the emotional effects and thoughts she experiences, even though her problems are not unique, as we have all been teenagers, experiencing that kind of emotional transition when a child becomes an adult, a child's way of thinking is replaced by the realism of adulthood, and sexuality, the engine of life, interest in the opposite sex, rears its head. As a teenager, life is one big change, when we realize that what we once believed in is either gone or perhaps never existed. In our minds, childish dreams and imagined lives are replaced by the raw reality of truth. This is a period of self-discovery, when life descends upon us, and it is up to us, our human qualities, how we can bear this burden.
This period is taxing on all levels, but if one is born a girl, experiencing this process is exponentially harsher. It's humanly, mentally, emotionally draining; the image of a hopeful future and a wide array of possibilities mingle with so many damned question marks and uncertainties in people's minds, while a single question constantly gnaws at us: who are we, where are we heading in life, and which path should we take? This is a period of decisions, life-defining decisions, which must be made during such a sensitive time, and where so many things influence our lives, and worst of all, many people want to influence us, or suggest the path that worked for them, or how they think it's good.
I'm told daily that my words, my sentences carry weight, and I bear responsibility for everything I write here. I never felt this burden until I started working with people and realized that people pay attention to me, and often do so unconditionally, exactly as I tell them, because they trust me. I feel this kind of responsibility most strongly with Viola, because even though Vio is 18, she is still a child, confined and controlled since birth by the community in which she grew up. For Vio, this program is an escape route. She didn't sign up to lose weight, but to break free from her current confines, to do what she likes for the first time in her life, not what others dictate to her, and LifeT!lt precisely educates people for this. Vio is a volcano about to erupt, and the emotions from past repression will soon surface, and she will start walking her own path. Vio is on the verge of a big change, she is extremely impressionable, and she joined the lifetilters during this period of her life, which brought her close to me.
I feel the burden of responsibility most intensely now, and I believe that during my time working with Vio, I had a taste of the situation a father might experience when his daughter grows up and he advises her, preparing her for life's cruelties and for overcoming the limitations imposed by rules. A father wants the best for his daughter, to protect her from all the crap he's already been through, but we can't fight every battle for others, nor would I recommend it to anyone. I could elaborate on this at length, but in closing, I can only say what I told Vio and what I'm writing here now.
Grow up and forge your own path. Reject everything you feel isn't you, and do only what you love, and don't care what anyone says to you. If you believe in it, and you know you're good at what you do, then do it and don't look back, don't waver, it's as simple as that.
You don't like the community you grew up in? Screw them, and leave them behind, do what you want, what feels good, but most importantly, what your heart dictates. And then you'll fall on your face a few times. It's going to hurt, like hell, but it was your decision, and you can't blame anyone for it. These slaps are necessary to become human, and to finally be steered in a direction that is your life and who you are. Maybe life won't work out, maybe nothing will succeed, but you have to find out what you're capable of, how much you have in you, but only you can do this.
Fall on your face many, many times, seek out failures and blows, because if you do, your life will develop, and development comes with that. Life and people will want to crush you, but no matter how strong the headwind, no matter how devastating the number of blows, you must always keep going, you must always get back up, because you have no other choice. If no one wants to bring you down, if you don't bother anyone, you haven't achieved anything in life. Grow up, and don't whine, don't dream about life, but live it, and what you should never forget, always, under all circumstances, follow the path your heart dictates, and in the meantime, screw everyone...
Viola
I'm 18, and I often think I can make all my own decisions, that no one should interfere, because I know what I want. You disregard the people who love you, but you believe that those who don't even know you love you. You open up to people you shouldn't, and you push away those you could unconditionally count on.
You have to look around to see who those people are who always stay, people come and go in our lives, friendships form and then disappear, and we tend to value these more than the people who always stand by us and stay throughout. Who loves you when others deny you, and who stands by you even when you make bad decisions. These are the people we should cherish in life, who know us and don't judge us, who love us for who we are and don't want to change us, who carry values and don't want us to be different.
We go through a lot (and here you can quibble about what an 18-year-old knows about life, probably nothing, I can only talk about what I've uniquely experienced and learned, I don't want to talk about more than that), a teenager experiences things completely differently, because they can't process them emotionally like an adult, and in most cases they bottle it up (or in something else), but sooner or later it will come out... what can be done? I don't know, maybe everyone has to go through such things... I went through it too, sometimes I had to quit something I loved very much, sometimes I was hated, looked down upon, sometimes I was ostracized, sometimes I let someone important to me get lost, only to realize later how much they meant, sometimes I loved but wasn't loved back, sometimes I felt misunderstood, sometimes I felt abandoned, I was punished for something I didn't deserve, sometimes I was humiliated, sometimes I was tricked and exploited, sometimes I worked but wasn't paid, and sometimes I had to move abroad without even being asked if I wanted to, and one goes through so much.
Tomi asked me to write about my feelings, which is nonsense; people don't reveal their feelings, and why should they? What do I gain from it? Others will find out, and we can suffer together?? A teenager is capable of setting up and experiencing things completely differently, maybe it's not even true, but they immerse themselves in suffering and pity... I believe that something can be done about everything, it's up to you whether it succeeds or fails. Were you let down? Forgotten? Given up on? Cheated? Exploited? By your parents, friends, siblings, people who are important to you, or just ordinary people? You have to let it go, you have to forgive them, and yourself too, because until you forgive, you will never be able to change, as long as anger is within you, you cannot change, and once you have dealt with these, dealt with your anger towards others and yourself, then you can start thinking about what can be done for change...
