Body type workout plans for women

April 2, 2011

I must disappoint those who would expect intense wallowing in shit from this post (that will be in the next post), because this post will be as clean and impeccable as our mother's past. At least, that's the plan, then we'll see how my thoughts develop. If hell breaks loose in my head in the meantime, then of course the part about our mothers is deleted.

At the beginning of the blog, I wrote a series of articles about conscious nutrition, thanks to which the blog's readership quadrupled within a week. Since then, two articles from the CN series have been among the five most read. With this, I thoroughly refuted the words of a blogger friend of mine, as he claimed that a blog can only be truly successful if it contains the keywords that most move Hungarians, such as "faggot," "whore," "drug," "Jew," and "gypsy," and preferably as many variations of these as possible. The guy is the author of the Izomtibi blog, and this article brought him 14 thousand readers, so what he's saying can't be that stupid, but that's not my style, except for the whores, of course. But now that I've successfully spat into the air and then stood under it with that sentence, we could move on, as I've just erased my thoughts about cleanliness and impeccability. In the conscious nutrition series, I already mentioned body types, but since then, the blog has gained more readers than the national membership of the SZDSZ, so let's recall what I wrote about body types back then.

There are three main body types: ectomorph, endomorph, and mesomorph, as well as combinations of these. You need to know which group you belong to because you need to adjust your diet and workouts accordingly. Body composition and metabolism are completely different, and what is good for one body type is extremely detrimental to another, so it's good to be aware of this.

Ectomorph Tall, lean body type, especially advantageous for women, as this is what we call a model physique. Fast metabolism, thin, slender hourglass shape, not prone to gaining weight at all. The situation is different for men, because an ectomorph man has it really tough. He can only gain muscle with inhuman effort, strict adherence to diet, and loses weight very quickly.

For women, this type is perfect. These women usually become the mistresses who sleep with married men between the ages of 28 and 40. They don't even have to train much, they can easily maintain their figure, but sometimes it's good to pay attention to their diet. Examples of this body type include Kate Moss, Cristiano Ronaldo, Carl Lagerfeld, Gemma Ward, Karolina Kurkova, Collin Farrell, and Paul Kalkbrenner.

Endomorph The real sucky branch, the most disgusting body type. This type gains weight even when others are eating. It's almost impossible to manage this body type, but a bitter and strictly followed diet and exercise can be a solution, but due to the basic body structure, no miracles should be expected. It is characterized by a soft and rounded body, with the upper part of the limbs being much thicker than the lower. The bones are wide, the waist circumference is large (damn, that must be rough), slow metabolism, and a higher than average fat cell count. They gain weight easily, but muscle builds with little effort. To keep this body type in check, one would need to go to the gym at least 5 times a week, of course, along with a diet, which is a huge foundation. Examples include 80% of Britons, Mónika Lamperth, Rita Kőbán, Kirstie Alley, and Hugo the hippo. But actually, any woman who is prone to becoming matronly, like Claudia Liptai or Mariah Carey, also belongs here, as does Veca Janicsák. For me, Veca is THE WOMAN. A damn hot chick. This also shows that one doesn't have to cut their wrists just because they belong to this group.

Mesomorph Hahhhhhhh I am this body type. Easily builds muscle and can quickly lose fat if they follow the rules regarding diet and exercise. Let me quote from a page, just to avoid the appearance of self-indulgence. (but only the appearance)

The mesomorph physique is the most enviable type. The reason for this is that they are able to build a dream physique. Mesomorphic women typically have an hourglass figure, while mesomorphic men usually have a rectangular shape.

Bones are strong, shoulders are usually wider. Although they can eat any type of food, a protein-rich diet helps maintain their good shape. This type of physique is ideal for bodybuilding, as it possesses the appropriate strength and physical capability.

Famous mesomorphs include Vin Diesel, Markus Schenkenberg, Sergio Ramos, Russel Crowe, Christian Vieri, and almost without exception all models who work for Italian fashion houses. But also Calvin Klein, Christian Bale, and Cameron Diaz.

It's damn great to read these back. It's like looking through a family photo album from years ago, even though I wrote these barely a month ago. Well, let's move on, because it's one thing that by now almost everyone has roughly figured out where they might belong, but there's a method here with which you can determine with 80% accuracy which category you fall into.

Zeibig and Miss Székely have already completed this test, so it's time for you to do it too. If you've read the description and done the wrist test, and to be absolutely sure about your body type, here's a table listing the God (or devil?)-given anatomical features that are most characteristic of a body type.

You know everything, let's look at the training plans. However, before you choose the right program for you, there's a small detail. If you're going to the gym for the first time, or haven't been in over a year, then you definitely need to prepare your body and cells for weight training beforehand. There's no perfect training program for everyone, but there is an ideal one from an individual perspective. That is, one that best suits your individual needs, goals, and daily demands. You already know your body type, I've already written about diets (not that you would stick to them), I'll post diets tailored to body types in a few days, I've already written about cardio workouts, and thanks to the P4P series, you pretty much know how to perform the exercises correctly. I'm writing down everything you need here, but for successful workouts, I see that this isn't enough. I personally experienced during the workouts of a few LifeT!iLt girls how much confusion and thick fog there is in your heads, despite all this, when you need to put the knowledge gained here into practice.

I bought a monthly pass to Life1, I thought I'd try Budapest's most hyped gym myself. I'll write a review about it later in a separate post, but for starters, Life1 is typically the kind of place where the most repulsive trend-following fashionistas find their maximum satisfaction, meaning where I almost feel at home. Did you know that they don't provide towels because at a similar high-end gym near MOM Park, 3,000 !!! towels were stolen in the first six months? Because if the gym in the 2nd district was ransacked like that, then in the 8th district, the building itself is in danger, let alone free towels. I love this country. And I was convinced that the tunnels drilled into the Great Plain and viaducts built over flatlands couldn't be topped. Of course they can't, but I still shit myself over these "clever" daily annoyances. I also took a towel from World Class, I'm not saying I didn't, but damn it, just one, not so many that I could take a pallet of them to Röltex for sale.

No towel for 14,900 HUF a month, okay. The heads of the hair dryers are already stolen, perfectly normal. I ask the girl at the counter what types of protein powder are available. She says 2 flavors. I almost fell over by the cardio machines, but since I was talking to a girl, I shouldn't have been surprised... BUT! What's with this: I go to train with two LifeT!Lters, I show them the exercises, then THIS GUY comes over and tells me that this training shouldn't be forced, because only those employed by Life1 can train guests here. My grandpa was right, this is a feudal world, which I regret all the more because the LifeT!Lt how to train technically correctly routes were just starting to take off. More details on Life1 later.

In the meantime, let's continue the train of thought about complete confusion, as that's where we left off, with the gray fog. I've written it a few times, but I'll write it again. ASK FOR HELP at least during the first workouts. Feel free to approach the gym instructors, ask questions, and ask them to show you how to perform each exercise correctly. The hotter you are, the more free advice they'll give you, especially if you make them believe you're interested in them. Basically, it's like begging for drinks and a taxi at parties. Yes, I think this is the best tactic. If you do it well and successfully fool the poor idiot (and any woman is capable of this, I have no doubts), well, then you can even get a complete training program out of them for free. I wish you good luck with your workouts.

Foundation Training Plan

This workout lasts for 6 weeks, and the number of sets should be increased every 2 weeks. You should go to the gym twice a week and do cardio twice a week. The set increase looks like this: for the first two weeks, all exercises are 2x15, for weeks 3-4, 3x15, and for weeks 5-6, 4x15. Abdominal exercises are always 20 repetitions multiplied by the number of the week you are doing.

Day A

Day B

Everyone has to find their own weights. The ideal is if you can barely, or preferably not at all, do the last two repetitions of the set. If the last two go smoothly, level up, because if you don't, you won't develop properly and after a while your body will no longer respond to the load. Oh, and one more thing. WARM-UP before training, understand? WARM-UP. To avoid injuries, because sex is also better with foreplay, just trying to argue with a female mindset.

Ectomorph workout plans

Ectomorphs are forbidden to use elliptical machines for warm-up!